The president on phone

Hello Mr president, how s it going.
    I am fine, whats about the rockets, I want you to buy them from us, yes our system, the patriot one, buy it from us and I want you to raise military spending to minimum 2% of your GDP (even as they boycott it by trade) but better more up to 4%. Your army needs to get stronger like ours, strong soldiers.

    Yeah we shipped the tanks there, of course our strong tanks, 78 Abrahams to Poland (jan 2o18), yes good stuff, good tanks, good tanks. Yeah thatfor they make not the wrong decision, do not make the wrong decision I tell you, we tell you what to do.

    Yeah Germany and China got too strong, we put tariffs on them, now we target 200 billion before they beat us and get too strong .....
    No I can not guarantee that, but after the threat from Iran is over, yes I told you that we need to deal with that also. Yes but when that threat is over I told you I can not guarantee that for Germany.

    Yes I spoke with them on Venezuela, I wanted to send our troops there, of course, but they did not like that idea, the presidents of Colomia and Ecuador, also to Iran I wanted to send our troops but Congress blocked me. Yeah it was about a military intervetion in Venezuela yes ... no they did not like that. Yes I wanted to send our soldiers to Venezuela, of course, no that did not happen then. Yeah it has borders they told me, there are some borders they said. Yeah also on Iran I wanted to go to war with but that did not work, Congress was in way, forget that, i had to drop Iran finally.

    Yes they are our good friends Japan, we are always on their side, always protect them, finally it was us who dropped nukes on them, they have the best robots today and they are our only friends there, no they have no factory canteens any more, that is over, they are our good friends.

    Where is it .... ahh yes West pacific our very good friends there, they told me its name is West pacific or East Pacific, wait, no not West Balkan, it was West Pacific, strange name, strange name.

    The other thing, yes I ordered them to seperate them, of course tough measures, no not children with parents they need to get seperated. But then she spoke with me, yes my wife, then I thought about american families, that is something, she made me change, yeah was her shirt, on back, was that good hehh, wasn t it, nice shirt, nice shirt what you say.

    Yeah they told me that Afghanisthan has borders, also Iraq they told me has borders, also Pakisthan, Korea, Panama and Puerto Rico, Chile and Venezuela have borders they told me, ahh no problem. They also said Jemen had borders, I don t know where that is, anyway ... some of our friends are going there, also as they said it has borders, no problem.

    No migrants we do not like, I do not like migrants, we do not take them any more, no migrants and not their children and parents togather, yeah as I said that got too hot then, ugly then, not good. I recalled that order then, it got too hot that family stuff.

    Yeah they told me that Germany has borders, also Italy, Spain, Hungary and Poland. Yes we shipped our tanks there, yes 78 Abrahams (jan o18) big tanks, big tanks to Poland yes. We brought them there, quite fast in two weeks we got that done !

    Ahh the president, you know, he is fine, we are all people, we all need some help sometimes, he is fine, we will talk then, let s see.

    So well, ahh she is all right, I paied her for that, of course, business as usual ... ehhh yeah, also then later we paied her again, thatfor she did not speak on it, was costly yes in my name we paied her then again, of course biz as usual ... as always ... hot deal, good deal.

    So well then, yeah we target now 300 billion of tariffs, no that has no borders, you know it, biz has no borders and you know me, us. It was always like that, but now this has to stop, that unfair trade, you know before they become Nr 1 and others become too strong, we stop that, yeah that is what we do, what I do.

Yes as always biz has no borders, we will see then if I made friends,
... ahhh I am fine, bye bye !

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